A Bump in the Road

I hit a bump in the road the last couple of weeks. I went almost completely off of my eating program and gave into the stress/emotional eating that comes with a stressful, emotional time. Two weeks in a row, I ended up with a gain on weigh-in day. *sigh* Well, I decided that enough is enough, dammit. So, I weighed in on Wednesday and I recommitted myself to eating on program, to getting my exercise in, to drinking my water and to journaling when I got an urge to eat out of stress or emotion (including boredom). So far, so good. Our issues with the Y should be straightened out now, so I'm going to recommit to going to the gym 4 days/week. I plan to lift weights or take a Pilates class 2 of those days, which will mean a shorter cardio workout, but I still think that's a good workout regimen. If I do an hour of cardio 2 days a week, and do 30 minutes each of cardio and resistance the other two days, and do a simple workout @ home on the weekends, and walk my hour on Thursdays before I come in to work, I think that should be more than enough exercise for a non-athlete. :-)

I finally went to my doctor about the insomnia/migraines/breathing issues. He tested me for asthma based on my symptoms, but I have only exercise-induced asthma. I have an inhaler that I'm supposed to keep with me when I work out so that I can continue working out. :-) He thinks that the migraines are triggered by sleep deprivation, so we are concentrating on the insomnia right now. He said that, if we get the insomnia under control and I continue to have migraines with the frequency that I have been, that we'll re-visit that issue and try to attack it from another angle. The med that he has me on for insomnia is also prescribed as a migraine preventative and to help with anxiety, so I'm hoping that it will help with all three, since they are all issues. I do think that it's helping with the insomnia, as I'm only waking up a couple of times rather than the 4-5 times I was.

It is official, however... I've now lost enough weight that I need to buy new bras. *sigh* I hate shopping for bras. Oh, well. I'm now able to wear a pair of jeans that's been in my closet for nearly 5 years, which is darn kewl. I'm gonna need all new clothes here before too long, but I'm prolly going to haunt the thrift stores because, as I'm still losing, I don't want to drop a small fortune on clothes that I won't be wearing for more than a few months at the outside.

Anyway. Life is mostly going okay. It's Friday, the sun is shining and I'm above ground. That always is a good sign. :-)

Gah!

My head still hurts from the second bout with migraines this month. I had one earlier this month that lasted for three days. *sigh* So, I'm going to see my doctor on Friday to see if we can determine a course of action to prevent them and, if not, a treatment option that will not tear my stomach up the way that ibuprofen has been. I'm not sure, but the insomnia may be related. Which is the cause, and which is the effect remains to be seen.

I had a really bad, off-program week this past week. I ended up with a 1.2# gain this morning, which is good in a way because it showed me that the week I just went through was filled with things that I should not be doing. It might take me a day or so to get back on track because of this gorram headache, but I'm doing my best. Frankly, I think if a person can honestly say that s/he is doing his/her best, then that is all anyone can ask.

So, much with the water and with the counting of the Points. Staying on Program is about all I can control right now, so I'm gonna do my damndest to do so.

So there.

Yeah, it's been a while...

I've not written in a while. I don't think anyone was really reading it, anyway, and I've mostly been writing in my paper journal. At least writing in my paper journal doesn't spark any kind of drama. *sigh* I really don't know where to begin with the meat of my life, so I'll just stick to writing about WW and my weightloss for this update. Maybe I can ease back in to blogging, or maybe I'll just give it up altogether. I don't know.

Anyway.

As of my WI yesterday, I've lost a total of 39#. I'd hoped to be down a full 40#, but I know that will happen. I've been realizing how poorly most of my clothes are fitting me these days and really must arrange to get a few new things. I hesitate to go too overboard because I am still losing and I don't want to drop a ton of cash on clothes that I only hope to be able wear for a couple of months. The item of clothing that I am probably in the most dire need of replacing is my bras. Sheesh! I told S. that I wanted to splurge some on my bras & panties - even if I won't be able to wear them for a long time. I figure that building confidence should start with what I wear closest to me. Maybe that only makes sense to me, and that is okay.

We've been experiencing some problems with our membership @ the Y. For some reason, our membership dues didn't get deducted from our bank account at the end of May. So, I've been hesitant to go to the gym because I'm afraid they'll turn me away into the night. :-) We've got a call in to the guy in charge, and S. said that the Y had called as he was leaving the house this AM, so he didn't get a chance to listen to the message. Hopefully, it is all straightened out, so we can get back into the gym. I lose so much easier when I'm sticking to WW and exercise. I've been walking, but it's just not the same, psychologically, as going to the gym. Again, maybe that makes sense only to me, but that's OK.

Mucho stress is going on in my life and I'm really trying not to eat the house because of it. One of these days, I'll get that emotional eating under control...

Practicing medicine without a license

Okay, I don't really practice medicine without a license, but it is nice to get a confirmation of a dx that I made on myself from someone who actually has the license. :-) What I suspected about my hip was trochanteric bursitis, and that is what it turned out to be. I told him what I was doing for it, and he said that I was doing all the right things. So, hopefully, continuing to do the right things will aid the relief of the pain. The doc took x-rays just to be sure of the dx and, for some reason, he had a comparision x-ray from 2001 (I cannot for the life of me remember why he had my hip x-ray'd then...) so he could measure the cartilage. There was no decrease in the cartilage and there were "no significant signs of arthritis", though it did appear that I was getting a bone spur. He actually let me see the x-rays, which was kewl. I think the fact that I was down 7 pounds from my visit in March is what pre-empted any "lose weight *finger shake*" lecture I might otherwise have gotten. Yes, I know that losing weight will dramatically help this problem, and that is one of the reasons I'm being so diligent about it. The past coupld of weeks have been kind of bad weeks, but I'm trying to be OP more than I'm not and that has to count for something. I've been to the gym more lately, but I'm trying to work up to my planned 4-5 days/week. I walked on the treadmill yesterday (and the workout kicked my butt) and did my PT exercises. I can always tell that I'm doing them correctly when they actually hurt a little. I'm trying to be careful to keep it in the realm of "this hurts because it needs to stretch" and not let it go into the realm of "this hurts because I'm damaging myself". It's a fine line some days, especially since I have a pretty high pain threshold due to living with Fibro for almost 10 years. I've made the promise to myself, and I'm putting it here in writing (as I've done [or will do if I haven't] in my paper journal) so I'm accountable... if, after about 6 weeks of diligent PT exercises and losing more weight I'm still having pain in that hip, I'll go back and let the Dr. do a corticosteroid injection. I was willing to have him do it on Friday, but he's not much on invasive therapy if he can treat a problem with more conservative therapies (like the PT & OTC anti-inflammatories). I've replaced my shoes, so that should help, but the PT exercises are really going to make the difference, I believe.

As for the spot on my arm, it was actually nothing to worry about. *whew* It's a capillary hemangioma, and the doc says they can pop up anywhere at anytime. His daughter apparently had one on her face. The magic phrase "these never turn into skin cancer" came out, and I almost started crying right there in the exam room. Even though it turned out to be "nothing", I'm still being careful to wear sunscreen and my hat when I'm outside. I'm prolly gonna turn into the sunscreen police, but I'll feel justified if I'm always careful about it myself. :-)

I was up 1.6 pounds last WI. Somehow I don't think I've gotten all of that off, but I'll be happy with some kind of loss, even if it's less than a full pound. This is a lifetime commitment and diligence with the food I put in my mouth will not end when I get to goal. I didn't gain it overnight and I won't lose it that way, but the loss halting completely will kinda take the wind out of my sails. Oh, well, it's not good to think negatively about these things, so I'll just see what the scale has in store for me tomorrow AM. They had to move the big block @ the doctor's, so that was a good scale experience for me.

Hmmmm...

Life is pretty stressy right now. At the end of last year, we though we were going to have to pack up and move and did not know where we might move to. Then, a very dear friend passed leaving a huge hole in my heart. Recently, another friend passed, also leaving a hole in my heart, though perhaps not as big because I didn't know him as well. However, his presence in my life will be greatly missed.

In the midst of all that (and starting well before), I felt like I was losing myself. I couldn't feel much except that a nervous breakdown was always looming. What I felt was the right thing to do at the time was to close myself off from other people because I didn't want to drag them down the rabbit hole with me. What I neglected to take into consideration is that there are some folks connected to me in such a way that closing myself off to them didn't keep them from going down the rabbit hole with me; it only succeeded in not allowing us to cling to each other in the crisis. The rational, thinking, coherent person I'm re-becoming would have known that was a bad idea and would have figured out ways around it. However, at the time, it was what felt like the thing to do because I wanted nothing more than to protect the people I love.

Unfortunately, the only thing I have succeeded at is alienating those who love me. I'm trying to re-establish lines of communication but am having trouble getting past the hurt feelings. I honestly don't know what else to try except show that I'm trying to not be the person I was for those many months, that I want folks in my life again, and that I am truly sorry for the pain and hurt I have caused. I was hurting, too, but like the wounded animal I was, I couldn't see past my own hurt. Frankly, I'm still hurting, but I'm willing to try to mend fences so that we can all work through this hurt together. I only hope that people are willing to do that instead of just jump my case for not letting them in the first place. I don't know if I have it in me to keep trying to mend fences if other people won't take a couple steps forward, too, and keep holding me at arm's length. Perhaps, it's my karma because that is what I was doing to them, but I do need some give & take to keep giving.

On top of the emotional stress, I've discovered something that could potentially be a problem physically. Because one of the friends that passed away died from metastisized skin cancer, I've been careful to wear my suscreen and stay out of the sun as much as possible. However, I wasn't always this careful. Now that it's short-sleeves weather, I have noticed a spot on my shoulder that is a bit troubling to me. I've been keeping an eye on it and it hasn't gotten any bigger or changed shape or anything like that, but it's also not exactly "normal" looking. So, without being prompted, I decided that I need to go let my doctor look at it, just to be sure. I am really hoping that I'll hear that it's nothing to be worried about, but if, Gods forbid, it is something, catching it early is never a bad thing. So, good thoughts towards quick, accurate diagnosis are graciously accepted.

I also figured that, since I'll be there anyway, I'll have him take a look @ my left hip. I have my 'picions what it is and what I can do to treat it, but it will be good to rule out any of the potentially dangerous problems that it might be. I'm going to have to put my foot down about PT, though because I simply don't have a way to get there, unless he knows of a PT who has evening (and I mean after 6:30) appointments or who can see me only on Saturday. Otherwise, I'm SoL. If it's what I think it is, I already have PT exercises to do for it and I'll keep doing those once I get his much more highly educated opinion. :-) I may also have to switch from the treadmill to swimming exclusively for my cardio, but that's okay. That's one of the reasons we joined a gym with a pool. I'm just hoping it's not a problem with the skeletal parts of my hip, because the only thing you can really do @ that point is surgery.

Anyway. I'm still managing to stay on program thru all this stress. I just hope that continues.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot?

Okay, after my dance with the hormonally-driven and emotionally-driven eating I did starting Thursday of last week, I fully expected to step on the scale this AM for my weekly weigh-in and see a maintain or a gain. Nope. In fact, I'm down 6.2 pounds, which is my 2nd highest loss in a week since I've started WW. I'm really not entirely sure I can explain what happened, though I think the cause was 2-fold. One: my body has now let go of all the fluid it retained during my moon. Two: my body needed a "vacation" from the program for a couple of days. I have been doing the program almost letter-perfect since I started about 6 weeks ago. So, I'm going to stay almost letter-perfect (as much as I can) until the Beltaine Gathering in May, where I'll be in the position to be more worried about getting gluten-ed than I will be about Points. That's another 6 weeks & I'll probably be ready for another "vacation". Until then, I'll make sure I'm working the program as well as I can, keep getting my exercise and staying withing my Points. I do really need to get better about my fruits/veggies checkmark. I'm not getting nearly what I need, and I'm not sure what to add to my day that isn't really heavy in Points, though most green veggies are 0 Points, so... I'll see if, when we go to the supermarket this weekend, if I can't get some cans of green veggies to have with my suppers. That'll work. Plus, green veggies are a perfect vehicle for my healthy oils. :-)

So, with this 6.2 pounds, I am now down a total of 29.2 pounds and am within 5 pounds of my 10% goal which I set to reach in June. Unless my loss really slows down, I think I'll do it. ;-) Hells, I might do it by next week... who knows?

S. & I are set to go to the gym tonite & lift weights. I went yesterday by myself and walked on the treadmill for half an hour. I'm trying to get some hills whenever I walk right now (which meant incline on the treadmill) because the site where the Beltaine Gathering is held is, well, hilly. It seems wierd to say that I'm in "training" for a Gathering, but if you have ever run one, you'll completely understand. If not, well... It's hard to describe.

I'm also training for a 5K. I'm aiming to participate in one the weekend before the Gathering and I want to be able to finish it in under an hour. I'm not really sure how to go about this, because most of the training programs are for runners and I'm not there yet (and I may never be, thanks to blowing out my knees cheering). So, I'm sorta doing my own program where I'm trying to shave time off of my walks around the pond and then, when I'm on the treadmill, I'm trying to walk at speeds greater than 3.1 MPH to get my legs & lungs used to it. :-) So far, so good. I guess we'll just have to see. But, at least the 5K I'm wanting to walk is actually open to walkers (in fact, encourages them). Most of them around here cater to runners. Well, except for the Race for the Cure... you can walk that one, too, and not get looked @ funny. :-) So, I'm going to do this one in April and then the Race in October. Next year, when I'm in better shape & weigh much less, I may try to add 2 more. We'll just have to see.

*le sigh*

While the initial purpose of this blog was to wax rhapsodic about my wellness program and how well I was doing (or not) with it, I believe this is where the bulk of my semi-serious blogging will be done because a lot of the people on my LJ flist are poopy-heads. I'm still keeping up with folks there but I'm not posting anything of real import and am only skimming my flist. I know, I know... I could just unfriend the poopyheads, but that, friends and fiends, is a political position and I just don't want to go there. If you understand this, I'm sorry. If you don't, kneel and give thanks to your God(s) of choice that your life has not been touched by this nonsense.

Anyway, hardly anyone reads my blog anymore anyway, so... *pbbbbt*

So, about this wellness thing... it's going mostly okay. I had that chocolate/sugar binge thing on Thursday, then had a migraine on Friday (and yes, Virginia, I recognize that there is probably a relationship between the two...). Saturday, I was off to the wilds of Splendour Hollow, wherein I was much more concerned about not getting gluten than I was counting my Points to a T. Plus, it was an extremely (and I mean extremely) emotional weekend in a lot of ways. I'm gonna leave talking about that for my paper journal, but suffice to say, emotional eating won the day.

I'm back on track today and have done well with my Points and I am pretty sure that I didn't do any sort of permanent damage, scale-wise. We'll just have to see on Wednesday, when I weigh in.

The plus side to all of this is that we've turned the Wheel and Spring is officially here! I challenge you to get out and enjoy it!

Bump in the road

Well, I've hit a bump in the road and that bump is called hormone-driven food cravings. All I seem to want today is sugar, sugar, and more sugar. Oh, and did I mention sugar? I know that this is just a temporary problem and that it will ease off in a day or so, but I also know that I am finishing a tube of gummy bears (at 9 Pts) and am planning with malice of forethought a Hershey Kiss binge when I get home. I fully intend to document said binge and count the points, and then start fresh in the AM. I have GOT to start getting some protein in the AM with my breakfast. I believe that is what started this train rolling. So, I'll either have S. get some eggs on his way home and I'll boil 'em up or I'll buy the two boiled egg bowl in the cafeteria or something. I'm even tempted to try the Ezekiel bread with a slather of PB. I am hoping (possibly beyond hope) that I am one of the gluten sensitive people who can tolerate sprouted grain bread. It is a great deal more expensive than regular bread, but it's still bread I can do. The cinnamon raisin I got is 1 Pt/slice. I need to clean out the toaster cuz it's been a while since we used it last, and try a piece. Each slice has something like 4g of protein, so that would help in the AM until I can get some eggs. We even have a toaster here, so I could just bring my slice of bread and toast it here. Yeah, that would possibly contaminate me with gluten-y bread crumbs... I dunno. All I know is that I've got to find less point-heavy ways of dealing with these cravings and hopefully circumvent them.

*sigh*

I'm so proud of me...

I went to the gym yesterday and worked out, even though S. overdid it on Tuesday and decided not to go yesterday. I even worked out in my sports bra and leggings. Wow! Who am I? I decided that I'm not going to the gym to be a fashion plate. I'm not there to find a potential partner cuz I already have one, so I'm not worried about impressing anyone. I'm there to work out. It's that simple. I worked out in a sports bra (well, technically a yoga top, but still) because I'd gotten overheated on Tuesday working out in a T-shirt. I figured I'd be able to work out a bit harder if I was cooler. And I was. :-) I did my weights, wherein I raised the weight on my triceps, abs and back. Then, I went and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I had to put it on 1.0 incline and 3.2 MPH to get my heartrate above 120, so I guess this is all having a positive effect on my cardiovascular health. Das is sehr, sehr gut!. Unfortunately, my legs aren't up for working out that hard. So, one of my goals for today is to look up ways to increase muscular endurance. Cross-training with the swimming should help some, and I'm going to swim for my cardio tomorrow & Saturday if S. doesn't go with me to the gym. Giving my joints the day off, but still getting my cardio in will be a good thing. :-)

I've decided that I'm not going to eat my APs today. I've already earned 4 (which is plenty for the day) by walking for 45 minutes outside. I also need to really push the water today and really watch the Na+ because I'm retaining fluid for some reason and I need it to go! :-) Heck, I might try the suggestion someone gave on my list of laying on my left side and putting my right foot up above my heart. Heck, just putting my feet up like I encourage S. to do couldn't hurt. :-)

What I learned from a gain...

Rather than re-invent the wheel, I'm just going to cut/paste the email I sent to my WW Yahoo group this morning....

Okay, it's official. I'm actually learning something being on this program. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I am in recovery from an eating disorder - because you are never completely OVER one. Anyway, for a very long time, my metabolism was completely screwed up from it and I had a lot of trouble losing weight except for on very, very little food or very strict low-carb. I finally gave up on dieting because I decided (erroneously, as it turns out) I would never lose the weight I needed to and it was just making me crazy to try. Before, if I gained even part of a pound, I'd give up and eat the house. Or, if I "cheated" I'd figure that, since I'd blown it, I might as well blow off the rest of the day (which turned, inevitably into the week, month... you get the picture). Well, then a very dear friend (*waves at Cindy*) told me she was going on WW. I watched her progress from a far, then decided that I would give this one last program an honest shot...

The first week's weigh in, I lost 4 pounds. The second, 3. Last week, 8.4. Yeah, it was working great! In the midst of this, I discovered that my scale at home was weighing me 15 pounds lighter than my doctor's scale was. That would have, not long ago, freaked me out and caused me to give up then and there. But, not this time. This time, I just went out and got a new scale that weighs me at nearly the same (give or take 2 or 3 tenths of a pound) and re-set my weights to account for the 15-pound discrepency.

Then, this week was TOM. I'm retaining fluid and am tired. The old me would have used this week as an excuse to eat whatever, no matter the consequences. She would have decided she was too tired to exercise. She would have stayed home from work today because of the migraine I have (always get one the day before I start). Not the new me. I've planned for chocolate "binges" and have counted the points for them when I have had them. I exercised both Monday and Tuesday of this week and have my gym bag with me to go tonight after work. I came to work with a headache because I knew that getting off of my routine would cause more problems than it solved.

Yes, with my WI this morning, I did gain. But it was only 0.4 pounds. That means I'm still down 23 pounds overall. I've decided that I've got to focus on the bigger picture and focusing on the bigger picture is what is gonna get me smaller. That's what I learned from a gain.

I'm staying OP and I know that I'll have that 0.4 pounds off, plus a few of it's friends, at my next WI.

Good Workout

I went to the Y yesterday evening and had a good workout. I did my weightlifting and then did 30 minutes on the treadmill. By the end, I was sweating like a pig. :-) Still, it felt good. My muscles today are a bit tired but not terribly sore. I expect that will come tomorrow, when it's time to lift weight again. S. & I are planning a cardio workout for this evening. I'd thought about swimming, but it's supposed to rain, and in the Spring, that can quickly turn to thunderstorms, so... Instead, I'll probably do another treadmill or recumbent bike workout today. I'm not sure what he'll want to do/be up to doing, but I'll leave that up to him. If he decides he doesn't want to go, then I guess I'll be going by myself. *shrug* I can't make him work out & I can't make him change his diet. All I can do is show what it's doing for me, and encourage his decisions to get healthy. Otherwise, he's a big boy and can make his own decisions for himself.

I'm kind of tired today, and more than a little apathetic, but I expect that's due to hormones. Hopefully I'll be able to move past that in another day or so. I'm still doing well with the program... seems like one of the few things I -am- doing well with. That could -also- be the hormones talking...

Guess I should try to get some work done...

Getting my act together... or trying to

So, I've set up my schedule to get to the gym. I'm set to go M & W to lift weights, then T, F, Sat for cardio. I figure I'll walk @ work on Thursday AM (weather permitting) and take Sun off. I need to do a bit of cardio on M/W, but it won't be a full-out cardio day like T, F, & Sat. There are always going to be days that S. can't go with me, and I need to go anyway. I'm hoping that he will also do the same when I can't go with him. We're paying for this membership and we are, by Goddess, gonna use it. :-)

I'm trying to prepare myself for either a no-loss week or a slight gain week this week due to Aunt Flo. I'm also a tad constipated, and I hope that gets worked out before too much longer. I'm going to also be retaining fluid this week, so I need to make sure I watch my Na+ and get plenty of water to try to combat that. Still, I had an 8 pound loss last week, so I can probably afford a minimal/no loss week and not get too far off track. I'm staying OP, so it'll be fine.

I didn't earn the APs I wanted to last week, hence the re-commitment to get my tushie to the gym. I want there to be less and less of my tushie. :-)

I'm also re-committing to doing FlyLady. The more de-cluttering we can get done, the easier a move to our very own house would be. I don't think we'll be able to do that at the end of this lease, but maybe in 2009, unless we suddenly come into a bunch of $$, which I don't think likely. :-) We still have a bunch of bills to pay to clean up S.'s credit and I need to re-establish credit in some way. Maybe if his is clean enough, my lack thereof won't matter too much, especially if we have a chunk to put down.

Anyway. I'm re-committing this week to eat OP every day, get to the gym at least 3/5 days, and work on my Zone work and my German every day. I can do this. Really.

We've made it to Friday

While I have lots to do this weekend so I can't just play the lady of leisure and sleep all day, I am looking forward to sleeping til about 8AM tomorrow. That's still sleeping in, but it's also still getting up in time to get some stuff done tomorrow. I need to work on my game plan for the weekend, so I make sure I actually get done what I need to. The three priorities are housework, studying, and working out. I need to be a bit more specific with regards to the housework I need to get done, but the apartment is starting to drive me crazy... not that it's a long trip at any given time. :-)

If Dr. R has our workbooks graded (which is doubtful at best, but possible), I need to work on that this weekend to make sure I get all of chap. 10 done in good order. I may have to go to either the downtown library or UTs library or some other "not home" place to get some studying done. I tend to make up some sort of reason not to study as much as I need to at home.

Part of that is that the house is such a wreck. I will study this weekend cuz I need to before the Dative case munches my skull, but I want to make the #1 priority this weekend getting at least the living room into living order. I want to get the shelf in the bedroom cleaned off so that we can move it out to the LR and get the DVDs out of the box. Then, we'll work on getting the cedar chest emptied out long enough to get it moved into the bedroom. That will really open up space in the living room so that we both can stretch. I desperately need to start doing ritual again on my own. Okay... I think I have a kind-of idea of what I need to do. I'll make my list and then get 'er done.

Another NSV to report... the underwear that I bought the same time as the 22/24 pants (which -also- didn't fit) now fit. Yay! They are a teensy bit snug, but I think losing maybe one more pound will fix that. They fit well enough that I'm wearing a pair today, so...

Yep, it's official.

I need a belt. I knew that, intellectually, but I got solid, irrefutable proof this morning. I went to the restroom this morning before I came in to work. As I was doing my bidness, I realized that I had pulled my pants down as though they had an elastic waist, rather than unbuttoning/unzipping them. I sat there and laughed for 5 full minutes.

I splurged this afternoon and got a box of Junior Mints. They are 5 Points for the box, but that still leaves me with 10 Points for supper. Since it's just me, I don't think that's gonna be an issue. I'll probably have some cottage cheese and lunch meat, which will be like 8 points. That leaves me 2 points for some milk. I didn't get my oils today... gotta get better about that. If I feel up to it when I get home, I'll do 30 minutes on the pedaler to earn enough for the oil on a salad (0 Pts). I'll use lemon juice as my "dressing" and it'll be fine. Or, I'll forgo the milk because my yogurt, string cheese & cottage cheese should be enough dairy for the day.

I'm getting a lot better at this planning thing. :-)

S. & I are going to be having corned beef & cabbage for St. Patrick's Day on Saturday. It's going to blow a bunch of my Points, but it'll be worth it. It's only once a year. I still have all of my WPAs, so it'll be fine. I'll just need to make sure that I'm drinking a lot of water because corned beef is soooooo high in Na+.

My order from Avon is here. Well... at home. :-) I ordered a set of duffle bags. One of them will be for my gym stuff, so I can have my bag packed to go to the gym. I'll put my workout clothes, my swim suit, flip flops, shorts to wear over the swim suit, &c. Now, if I can just figure out what keeps aggravating the skin on my legs, I'll be all set.

Woot!

Well, I was right. I had a hell of a weigh in this morning. I'm down 8.4 pounds from last week. I can hardly believe it! That puts me down a total of about 23 pounds from my highest weight and down 15.4 pounds since starting WW. I know that these losses aren't going to continue indefinitely (nor should they... I don't want to lose weight too fast), but I'm enjoying them while they're here because they'll make the much slower loss easier to cope with.

Another Woot! for today is the fact that I bought a pair of 22/24 pants about a year ago and didn't try them on... consequently, they didn't fit. But, I kept them instead of returning them because I was determined to get into them eventually. Well, this morning I put them on and wore them to work. Sure, they have some stretch to them, but they are still a size smaller than the khakis I bought a month ago. :-) Speaking of my khakis... I've got to get a belt. They are about to the point where they're gonna be sliding down if I'm not careful. Gee, that just sucks. *smirk*

So, I've got 10.6 pounds to go before I hit my 10% goal of 26 pounds. I've set the time on that for S.'s birthday in June. I expect to hit it before then, but I want to make sure I have plenty of time. Then, my goals will probably be 10-pound increments until I've lost the full 115 pounds I needed to (down to 99.6 now!!!).

I just can't believe this program is working so well for me. I fully expect I would be having the same middling success I've had on every other program if I hadn't discovered (thanks Cat!) my gluten sensitivity. Doing WW and gluten-free has been kind of a challenge, but not onerously so. Since all fruits & veggies are naturally gluten free, I'm okay there. I'm just having to be careful with low-fat dairy because they sometimes use wheat as filler. Still, it's not too bad.

I can so do this!

Dagnabbit

I'm not sure if there's something in this one pair of knit pants I wear or if I'm having a delayed reaction to whatever I ate Sunday that made my throat swell or what, but when I got home from the Y (more on that in a mo') the insides of my thighs were bright red again. It's much calmer today, so I'm not really sure what happened. *shrug* I'm keeping an eye on it, especially since the pool should be opening back up today (it's been closed due to electrical problems).

Anyway, I actually made myself go to the Y yesterday, even though I was going by myself. I did 10 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes on the treadmill. I'm okay with that. I brought my bathing suit with me to try to swim this evening. However, it's gonna depend on how my legs are doing. I don't want to aggravate anything with chlorine and I'm really tired and I need to study. So, we'll just have to see. I know that swimming will be much easier on my joints and, thusly, I can do it longer. Plus, it's full-body exercise. I guess I'll stop at the Y on the way home. If I don't feel up to swimming, I can walk on the track for a half hour or so. It's all good. I do need to make sure I'm stretching my calves well because I'm starting to have issues with plantar faciitis. So... There we go.

I'm still doing well with WW, but I'm trying to come up with protein ideas for during the day because I'm just not getting enough. Man cannot live by string cheese alone. *smirk* I think I'm gonna have another good weigh in this week. I know that my loss will slow down to a pound or less per week, so I'm enjoying these big losses while I can. :-)

Back after a week off

So, okay. I went to the doc's on Thursday. I knew, intellectually, that my scale @ home weighed lighter than his does, but I didn't expect it to weigh 15 pounds lighter. Oh, well. Still, it showed that I'd lost 9 pounds since my last visit, which was nice. He also said it didn't really matter about the number, so long as it's going down. I'm okay with that. After we got done there, we went to Wal-Mart, where we found a digital scale that weighs up to 400 so S. can weigh in, too. That's a good thing.

Anyway, so I adjusted my weights accordingly. I'm still down 7 pounds (more by Wednesday's weigh-in, I'm sure) but down from 260 instead of 245. That didn't freak me out as much as I thought it would... My Ob/Gyn's scale shows that I've lost 19 pounds since August, so it's going down and that is the correct direction.

I'm planning on going to the Y after work (depending on how I'm feeling with this gorram time change) and at least do cardio. I need to get into the habit of going. Hopefully, they'll have gotten whatever electrical problem they were having fixed so I can start swimming soon. I found my suit, my legs are healed... :-) It'll be much kinder on my joints than some of the other options for cardio. Still, I'll prolly use the bike or something tonight. I'm saving my weights for W/F so that S. & I can work out together.

It was kinda difficult to stay on program (by making sure I got all of my DPAs) while off routine, but I'm sure that I'll be back in the swing of things this week. Anyway, I'm gonna go take my AM walk and try to wake up.

TGIF and all that jazz

We've made it to Friday, Kinders. I'm so bouncy today I almost can't stand myself. I keep having to get up and move around because sitting still doesn't use up enough energy. WTF? Who am I? Thankfully, I've had a lot to do moving around. I've spent yesterday and part of today pulling and bagging old magazines. It's a dusty job so I'll be glad for my renewal of Allegra, but it's not too bad. I've already earned 6 activity points just doing that. Wow! Hopefully, that will help me get some more fluid off and show another loss on the scale. I'm a bit behind on my water today (just started drinking it), but I'll get caught up. I can tell now when I've not had enough, which is good. I also think that I pegged the rash on my legs as a fungal infection because it is responding to the topical antifungal I've been using. Das ist sehr gut. Hopefully, another week of the treatment will have kicked it's tukus enough that I can get in the pool/hot tub.

S. & I are going to the Y tonight. Even if we don't feel up to working out, we decided that we'd go and at least let them "orient" us. :-) I hope that just the effort to get there will be enough to convince us to at least do some cardio. :-) We'll see.

I'm away from the office for a week, so... I hope to write next time about another successful week on the program and another loss. I'll prolly also have stuff from the doctor to talk about.

Tschüss

Well drat!

My thought to not use any of my WPAs this week sorta fell by the wayside. Oh, well. I waited too long to eat supper last night and was starving, so I ate too much and had to go into my weekly points. I know that, for next time, if we're planning an outing like we did last night, I need to have a small 0 or 1 Point snack so that I can stay under control at supper. At least I learned something from the experience, which is, after all, what this program is for. We also learned that we'll have to come up with a different "quick meal" to replace the keilbasa stuff because it's just got way too many Points.

I ended up not going to work out last night, but S. & I have made a date to go tomorrow after I get off work. I've decided that, if he wusses out on me, I'll go anyway. I've got to start working out again. I think I'll make an appointment for a fitness assessment while I'm there. I know I won't like what I see, but it will give me a benchmark so that, when I get re-assessed in three months, I'll know how far I've come. :-)

Onward.

Happy Woofie Dance!!!

4 pounds, baby! I'm pretty sure it could have been 5 if I'd had a slightly lighter hand on the salt shaker last night @ supper. But, I'm taking my victory anyway and not dwelling on the "what if I'd..." Those "what if I'd..."'s have gotten me into nothing but trouble and depression and they are hereby verboten. So there. It was so exciting to be able to go the Ticker Factory and update my weightloss ticker to say 241. I now have less than 100 pounds to lose. Wow. Sure, I still have a ways to go and it won't all be wine and roses, but, allow me to bask in the glow of losing 4 pounds. If we want to get all technical about it, when I weighed on 02/19 (my start date) I was @ 250. So, I've really lost 9 pounds. How kewl is that?

I also found out when I was grocery shopping last night (which I did with my Points Finder) that I've been short changing myself 2 Pts/day because my string cheese is actually only 1 Point per serving. Oh, well. :-)

I stayed within my DPAs yesterday, even with going out to eat. I'm darn proud of that fact!

On a whim, I checked my fasting blood sugar this AM. It was 113. That means that I need to add my metformin back in the evening, but that's okay. It's only temporary because I'm certain that when I've lost a bit more weight I won't need it to keep my blood sugar under control. Thankfully, with this program, I'm not having hypoglycemia attacks. I just don't want it to swing the other direction. I've thus far managed to not become Type 2 diabetic, and I would like that to continue. I'm also hoping that the program will also help me get my triglycerides and total cholesterol down so that I can get off the gemfibrozil, too. That would be awesome.

S. & I are supposed to go work out this evening when I get off the bus. It's gonna depend on how he's feeling if we go work out. He had a bad night and his ankle was hurting yesterday. I did bring my clothes so I can go even if he doesn't feel up to it. If he doesn't want to, I may see if he'll meet me @ the transfer point and take my bookbag & stuff home so I don't have to worry about stowing it. I don't know if the lockers @ the Y have locks. If not, I'll see what their regulations for locks are and if combos are allowed, I'll get one in the bookstore tomorrow.

Anyway. Week 1 down. :-)

Happy Tuesday

Still doing well. I stayed within (got to 0) my DPAs and earned 3 APs yesterday. Since we've planned to go out to supper tonight before we go to the supermarket, I didn't bring the brekkie casserole to save those 4 points. Instead, I had an apple dipped in my yogurt, which was quite tasty. I have a piece of string cheese to have for my snack, which I'm doing now. I'm a bit hungrier at this point in the day than I was yesterday or last week, but not too bad. This week, I'm really going to make the effort to not use any of my WPAs so I can see what that does to my weight. Then, next week, I'm going to eat all of them and see what that does. Some people say that you lose better when you eat all of your Points. We'll see. I might alternate like this, just so my body doesn't get used to the same old thing, sort of like changing up your exercise routine.

I saw an interesting idea for the brekkie casserole. It should further reduce the number of Points/serving... make it in a muffin pan. I'll just have to see how nasty my muffin pan is and get a new one if it's truly pathetic (which I full expect it to be). Anyway, I thought it was an interesting idea. :-)

I'm really looking forward to getting back into the gym, even if I can't swim for a while. Upon further research, it seems like the rash on my legs is a fungal infection. So, I'll get some anti-fungal cream and treat it for a couple of weeks. If it's not gone in 2 weeks, then I'll see the doc about it, because it's probably not a fungal infection. Even if it is gone by then, I'll need to keep up with the treatment for a further two weeks to make sure it's gone gone. So, that means no pool for me for the first month, but that's alright. There should be plenty of cardio equipment for me to use in the interim. Plus, it's getting nice enough to walk outside, too. It's mostly the weights and the pool we're joining for (and the body composition analysis/personal trainer), so it's all good. I'll have to make sure that I don't over do the weights at the outset; that I remind myself that it's been quite some time since I lifted & I won't be at that same level for a while.

So, this week is off to a good start. I'm actually looking forward to weighing in tomorrow. This AM it was 241, so we'll just hope it stays in that basic area (241/242) or edges a bit lower by tomorrow AM. That would so totally rock! It's so gorram difficult for me to lose weight that 5 pounds my first week would be awesome! I guess we'll just have to see, eh? If I can lose 5 pounds at this week's WI and another 3-4 at next week's, I'll feel assured that this is, indeed, the program for me. I know that my weight loss will inch to a crawl after that, but that's okay. If I'm seeing the overall trend as a downward progression, it's all good. :-)

To sleep, perchance to dream...

I'm still not sleeping like I'd like to. I might have had a better shot at it last night if Miss Cleo hadn't decided to start caterwauling at about 2:30AM. S. got up and got her and brought her into the bedroom, whereupon she laid down on me and went to sleep. She got up about 20 minutes later and went back into the living room, but was mostly quiet the rest of the night. I hope that it's not something wrong with her, but we've already decided we won't wait to take her to the vet if it keeps up.

I stepped on the scale and stepped off and back on just to make sure it really said what I thought I'd seen... While not my "official" WI, I was at 242 this morning. Damn! So, unofficially, I've lost 8 pounds so far. I am hoping that it's something even close to that (starting from 245) by Wednesday. S. & I have decided to move our Y joining date up to tomorrow so we can make sure we can get in there and start working out. I may have to wait on the pool for a bit to see if the rash on my legs goes away. If it does, then no problem. If not, I'll have the doctor check it out to make sure it's nothing contagious. I'd hate to give something to someone. It looked better this morning, so I don't know. If I can't get in the pool right away, I'll use the stationary bike or the treadmill as my cardio equipment until I can get into the pool. Besides, I need to dig my bathing suit out of the back room where it was "packed". S. is going Wednesday to buy some workout clothes & athletic shoes & we're gonna start working out on Wednesday. Yay! He's not actually following the program with me to a T, but he's at least willing to eat OP with me for supper, which helps.

I dunno how it'll work, but I'm gonna shoot for not going into my WPAs or use any of my APs this week. I'll make sure I'm eating all my DPAs, but not go over. I don't know if that will be do-able, but that's my goal. Here's to another healthy week!

The insomnia daemon

Well, I decided to "cheat" a little yesterday and have some coconut drops while I was out at the desk. The bag had 10 Points, but that's okay. I ended up eating about 15 Points worth of food while we were @ Ryan's, which I counted in my WPAs because the coconut drops used up the last of my DPAs. That's OK. I have plenty of WPAs, so I figured it was a good use of them, to go out to supper with my Wolf. :-) I had set myself the goal of earning 7 APs this week, and I've earned 3 so far. I'm getting ready to go do a 10-15 minute walk, so I'll get another AP. At my weight, I have to walk 20 minutes to earn 2, but that's okay. I expect I'll earn the rest of them tomorrow at the Indoor Track Championships that I'm volunteering at.

I'm still not sleeping well and I'm beginning not to trust my perceptions or my balance. I'm going to go home tonight and have some supper and then take a hot shower and take 2 Tylenol PMs and go to bed EARLY (like 9:30PM or so). Maybe that will give me enough time in the bed to catch up some. I know you can't really catch up on lost sleep, but I've got to pretend to. Otherwise, I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

Anyway. I'm back on program for today. I don't even feel that old "well, I screwed up yesterday, so I might as well give up and have a bag of Oreos" thing. I'm just back on program. Maybe this will actually work for me. Gods! Wouldn't that be nice for a change? A weightloss program that actually helps me lose weight? Oh, and get healthy? What a novel concept.

Maybe my walk (outside, where it's cooled down a LOT since yesterday) will help me wake up some. Let's find out.

Still going strong...

Day 4 & I'm still going strong. P. & I are going out for supper tonight, so we'll see how I do @ a buffet. Since there is a salad bar, I should be able to mitigate the damage and get some of my daily servings of veggies. :-) I'm doing great with my water... maybe too good. I'll look up the effects of too much water and see if that's what's causing my insomnia. If so, I'll have to find something else to drink. For this week, I've been getting around 4 32 oz. bottles. I don't think that's too much, but I guess it could be. All I know is that this bout of insomnia is kicking my ass in a serious way. While I'm at the desk, I'll see if I can research insomnia and what I can do about it. I'm hoping that it's just a combination of too much stress lately and not enough exercise and that, now that I'm getting more exercise and am not under nearly the amount of stress, I'll start sleeping better. I'm not sure if there are other medical conditions that can cause insomnia, but I'm going to see Dr. M on 03/09, so we'll start ruling them out if there are.

I'm wearing my new khakis today. I really think that, by the time I go see the doc, I'll be in a 22. These are actually a bit looser than they seemed to be @ the store. I'm really okay with that, even if I am wierded out by the fact that I'm wearing the first pants with a button and zipper in at least 2 years.

Our kit came yesterday, so I'm eagerly pouring over all of the information (of which there is a plethora). I've got just at 2 weeks before my doctors' appointments. Is it the height of wishful thinking to hope for at least a 5 pound loss by then? By my scale, that will put me at 240 & their scale will weigh me approximately 10 pounds higher. I guess we'll just have to see. We'll have joined the Y between now & then and I'll be eating on plan, so I suppose anything is possible.

Adventures in shopping & Staying on Program

I really want to congratulate myself on staying on program for three days in a row so far. That may not seem like a lot, but... Granted, I didn't quite get all of my Points on Monday, but I got up late and had a headache/migraine, so... I find it interesting that I didn't eat all my Points on Monday, and the scale said 250 on Tuesday... I eat all of them yesterday, and this AM the scale said 245. *shrug* I guess there is something to the idea that you have to eat to lose weight. I'm probably going to continue weighing everyday until we join the Y and we hide the home scale and only weigh in at the Y. I do need to make sure that I'm taking my meds like I should... I've been mostly ok, but I've been spotty, too. They really do me no good if I don't take them.

I had to go out and get a pair of khaki pants for my volunteer gig this weekend. I was, to be honest, a bit nervous about that because I've not bought anything with a button and zipper in a LONG time. It also turns out that most of the "normal" stores like Penney's, Sears and the like only go up to 24. Actually, I think that Sears only went up to 22 - or they were completely out of 24s or something. Anyway. My knit pants are a 24 so I wasn't really holding out much hope that I'd be able to find any, but I found a couple of pairs @ Penney's and held my breath that I could fit into them. I didn't want to try on those pants and have them be too small, you know? Thankfully, they have some stretch to them so they fit okay. I look HUGE in them, but at least they fit. I decided then and there that those are the absolutely LAST pair I buy in that size or larger. Every other pair of pants I buy for myself will be smaller, dammit.

I'm realistic enough to know that I will most likely never fit into a single digit size, though that would be nice - even once. However, I'll be thrilled with a 10/12 or 12/14. Once I'm approaching those sizes, I'm gonna start looking for some club wear. I don't know precisely how much time or inclination I'll have for the club scene at my age, but, darn it... I've never really had the body for the club scene, and I will soon, so. There. Plus, even if I never wear it out, my hubby will like seeing me in it anyway. :-)

Well, that explains some things...

Okay, it's been a long time since my last post (again). But, in the intervening 6+ months, I've discovered some things...

Thing 1: South Beach Diet does work, but not for the reasons that I thought it did...

Thing 2: I'm at least sensitive to gluten, if not downright intolerant of it. That means that my body dislikes anything with wheat, barley, or rye in it... I've further pinpointed it to know that, while my body doesn't like any of those things, it really doesn't like wheat.

So, late last year, I tried giving up gluten. Even eating copious amounts of rice, corn, potatoes and other carb-filled goodies, I lost about 5 pounds almost overnight. The weightloss then stalled, but it was a good indicator that I needed to stay far away from gluten. So, it wasn't really the carbs that were doing me in, it was the carbs full of gluten. I've stayed mostly gluten free since then, but I do occasionally try wheat to see if it was an abberation, only to find out that, no, it really does make me sick.

But, I was still not losing weight.

I know several people who have had really good luck with Weight Watchers. Unfortunately, I don't have a way to the meetings (even if I could scrape up the $50/month), so I was left with minimal options. I looked into the online program, but it's also kind of pricey. I did find, however, that they have an At Home program. Since S. has agreed to do it with me, I figured that the At Home kit would be a good investment. So, we're gonna start WW. Well, I kind of already have, since C. sent me some info about points and whatnot. S. & I need to find a scale that will weigh him accurately and designate it as our "Weigh In" scale, which we will then use once a week. At the end of the month, we're planning to join the Y, so I'm hoping there will be one there. If not, then we'll have to find one we can use at home and hide it except for WI day. I get so obsessed about the numbers on the scale that weighing in once a week will just have to do. I'll keep my food journal and make sure I'm hitting, but not exceeding, my Points, drinking my water, and doing my exercise. If I'm doing everything OP, then the scale will reflect that. If it doesn't, then Dr. M and I will be having another talk. But, for now, I'm going to take it on faith that, if I eat quality foods of the correct point total (31/day + 35/week), drink at least 64oz of water and get at least 30 min/day of exercise, my weight will go down. I'm having issues with taking things on faith lately, so we'll consider this an exercise. :-)

According to our scale @ home, I'm starting this journey at 250 pounds. My 10% goal, then, is 25 pounds and you're supposed to allow 6 months for that. Part of me whines "that's sooooo slow", but I know that they want to set your first goal as very acheivable, and that is (at least in theory). So, I'll suck it up and set that as my goal. 25 pounds by August 1. We'll just have to see.