Wellness Journal

Since this is a blog that very few ppl know about, I've decided to make it my fitness/wellness journal. I expect that I shall have many rants here about my progress, or lack thereof. To start it off just right, here's my story thus far...

I was born at 6 pounds and just a few ounces. I'm sure that my parents could tell me for sure. Anyway, I expect that my relatively low birthweight was due to the fact that my mother smoked while pregnant with me. Still... Through much of my early childhood, I stayed active. I enjoyed just being a kid and playing outside, when my parents would let me. When we moved out of Denver, the playing outside was allowed a lot more frequently, as there were fewer threats of child abduction, LSD stickers, and the like where we lived. I loved riding my horse, roller skating, ice skating, snowmobiling, playing on the playground, etc. I even enjoyed running track, playing volleyball, and doing gymnastics. There wasn't a swimming pool in the town where we lived, so any swimming was relegated to the periodic trips to Steamboat Springs. But I still enjoyed it.

Then, in the summer between my 5th grade year and my 6th grade year, we left Colorado to move to Tulsa, OK. I suppose that made the most sense, as we wouldn't have to start a new school mid-year. But, the sudden plunge into 90+ degree heat about did me in. On top of the heat was the sudden oxygen. I know that doesn't make sense to most people, but I suddenly found it difficult to breathe that much air. My younger sister didn't seem fazed by it, but for some reason, I found it difficult to even walk to the bus stop. Still, over the next couple years, I did manage to get used to it. I did some pseudo-track running (i.e. I never ran for a team or anything, but there was a track where you could run and it was marked the same way that the "real" track was) and walked to/from school &c. I did dance and stuff, but never took official classes. I'd thought about trying out for cheerleading in middle school, but even if my gymnastic ability got good enough to try out (which I would have made it get good enough), my parents would not have ever shelled out the thousand dollars for uniforms, &c. So....

Then we moved schools again my 8th grade year. I signed up for gym, even though I didn't have to because I thought it would be a good source of exercise. Sadly, I developed low blood pressure that year and got yanked out of gym and put in Home Ec. Not such a bad thing, really, but I think that I'd have been better off in gym, considering the course of events that year.... That was the year my parents got divorced. So, about half way through my 8th grade year, I turned to food as my friend because I knew it wouldn't fail me. I gained about 15 pounds, I guess. This was also the same year that my boyfriend's parents told him to break up with me because I wasn't "good enough" for him and the same year that I developed Bell's Palsy (or whatever it is... I say "is" because there are still lingering effects from it to this day). Quite a year. I got depressed (and never really got un-depressed...) and mostly quit doing anything active. At the end of the year, I decided to try out for cheerleading. The squad at MHS didn't require high-falutin' gymnastics and they supplied the uniforms so I figured I didn't have anything to lose. Well, I didn't make it that year. At the beginning of my 9th grade year, I saw signs for the color guard auditions. I didn't really know what that was, but decided I'd try out anyway. Turns out, I was pretty darn good at it, and enjoyed it to boot. For my entire high school years I was on the color guard, three of them as co-captain. I kept trying out for cheerleading, too. Finally, at the end of my sophmore year, I made it. I'm not entirely sure why I kept trying out, even though I kept not making the squad, but I did.

In the midst of all this, I developed an eating disorder. I think that the most I weighed during HS was 140. I thought I was HUGELY fat. I started starving myself. Then I would binge. To atone for the binge, I'd starve for a couple of days and/or exercise like a crazy person. I walked to/from school everyday, cheered at basketball games a couple nights a week during the spring, marched at football games and at contests during the fall, had practice every afternoon for either cheerleading or color guard, had early morning band every morning... I was not lazy during high school. But I thought I was. And I thought I was fat. Little did I know...

When I graduated from HS, I weighed about 140 (closer to 135, maybe). In the next 4 years, I gained 30 pounds. Part of that was due to where we lived when I moved to TN. I couldn't walk everywhere like I did in OK. I did start ice skating pretty regularly, and even took lessons. I took dance classes (finally). I got to UT and walked more to get to classes and such, but the dining hall food did me in. Especially when I had the injury that hurt my back so badly and I didn't exercise like I used to. By the time I graduated from UT, I weighed 175. In the next year, I gained another 20 pounds, due to being depressed from not having a job despite having a degree. When hubby and I got married in 1996, I weighed about 195 pounds.

In the last 10 years, I've gotten a job that I really like, but it's mostly a sit-down job. I do get up and move around, but I don't -have- to. I've tried a myriad of diets and exercise programs, but I'm still weighing in at 250+ pounds (don't know for sure, my scale isn't very accurate). I need, according to my nutritionist, to lose about 75 pounds or so. I would like to lose around 100. But, we'll see how I feel when I break 200 and hit "one-derland". I've checked out the South Beach Diet book from the library, as it is the closest published diet to the one that the nutritionist put me on. It's relatively low-carb but also relatively low-fat. I think that's what I'll feel best on. I'll give it a read and see if that's really where I want to go and then make sure that our budget continues to allow it.

Exercise, right now, is difficult. For one thing, it's in the mid- to upper-90's with a heat index near 100. For another, the ozone level is high, making it difficult for me to breathe. I need to get in the pool more often... that's something I can do with the heat and ozone being high. When it cools down some, I want to start walking more. But I really need new shoes before I do much walking. The ones I have are shot. For now... I think the pool is my best option. Hubby needs new trunks before he can get in the pool with me, but he could come down and put his feet in the water maybe.

Anyway, this blog will be my journey towards wellness... I hope. What I'm eating and drinking, what I'm doing, that sort of thing. I'm not going to be anal about it, but I've got to do -something-.